I’ve been on a Kings of Leon and Blue October kick of late.
I think the weather is bringing me down.
It’s June. I should be wearing sundresses and sandals, right?
I’m wearing jeans and long-sleeved shirts.
Plus, my anxiety is reaching an all-time high (which is really saying something). Friday I was so anxious that I thought maybe the weather was making me depressed. Then I realized I don’t feel depressed (I can tell because it’s a sensation I am far too familiar with). I’m generally really happy. I just can’t catch my breath and sometimes want to cry for no reason at all.
This means that I have to go to the doctor soon-ish. So I can (once again) get hopped up on anti-anxiety meds.
And I have to go to the lady doctor this month so she can deal with my birth control situation.
Birth control blows. (I feel like I've said that before...)
But not being on it increases my anxiety. Not because I’m having sex, but because I never remember to write down when my last period was, so I freak out that it’s late because I’m afraid that somehow rogue sperm from God-knows-where may have randomly just up and wandered into my vagina.
Even when it’s not late; I just have no idea when I last had my period.
Yes. I am that crazy.
The problem is that I never have good results from my birth control anymore. The pills make me sick, crazy, gain weight, and/or they make my boobs bigger. Which is definitely NOT something I want from my birth control. I already have enough trouble finding bras in my size that I actually like.
I guess I could just make one appointment.
Because if I drink Jack Daniels to curb my anxiety, birth control is obviously more important.