Monday, February 28, 2011

So not normal.

I realized something potentially bad last night.

I can’t tell when I’m getting hit on.

Very rarely if it’s really blatant, I might.  But even then I usually can’t tell (with the exception of when I was working at Payless, but that was REALLY blatant and by very unattractive people).

How can I not tell, you ask?  I just think people are really nice to me all the time.  I’m used to people giving me things or discounting things, or just smiling a lot.  That’s not flirting; that’s friendliness…  Right?

I think maybe the problem is that I don’t feel as if I’m THAT attractive, that I would just have people flirting with me all the time.  I know I have a decent face, big boobs, and decent legs.  But I personally feel as if everything else is kind of eh, and my general ‘ness’ is kind of entertaining at times; so I think everyone else feels that way, too.  That I’m probably a pretty cool person, but not necessarily do-able or someone they would want to actually be romantically involved with.

Also, if I assume people are just generally friendly, I can’t be wrong and I can’t get hurt. 

Recently I started doing this thing that I think will drive my friends nuts pretty soon.

I text one of them when I think I may have gotten hit on and tell them what happened.    Then they tell me I got hit on and ask about the guy.  Unless I got hit on by a girl, in which case for some reason I magically am able to realize what happened and text a friend to tell them about it.  It doesn’t happen that often because of the area I live in, so I have to share.

I guess I just don’t understand.  How do I tell the difference between flirting and friendly?

I can tell when one of my girl friends is being flirted with…  Why can I not tell when it happens to me?

And, while we’re on this subject, do I always pick the awful guys?  They hit me, cry, or both.  They can’t just be men.  And what is it about the way that boys are being raised today that makes them pussies as adults?

Anyway, back to the original subject.  I know, I’m super awesome at derailing, but we have to get back on track at some point…  Choo, choo!  (Omg I haven’t even had caffeine yet today.  What is going on?!)

Just once I want to be able to tell when a man I might have interest in is attracted to me.  And maybe be able to make a pass at him without being a super huge dork-- although that might require me not to be a super huge dork.  So it’s probably impossible. 

Or I would love to be able to go out with my parents and not have them talking about the guys that were staring at me the whole time we’re out and have any idea at all of what the hell they’re talking about. 

It’s kind of a weird feeling, this obliviousness. 

Can someone give me telltale signs?  Some kind of clue? 

Maybe if I knew what I was looking for it would help me.

In other news, I pierced my lip. 

It’s adorable.


Suck it, haters.

(Not my lip.  That's just gross; I don't even know you.)


  1. Gurrrl. :3 Honestly, I get hit on in public a lot. Not bragging, I'm just very aware of the shifts in body language. I just typically act oblivious, that way I can use the situation to my advantage. :P Just look at the amount they smile at you, respond to your words, shifts in posture, making intent direct eye contact during conversation, compliments(especially from male customers), repeated side glances, blah blah blah... I could go on, but I won't. AS for attempting to use it to ask someone out, stick to identifying first(though asking for a number or something couldn't hurt). You'll be the girl at Payless who asks customers "Boy, can I have yo numbuh?? Cause the back of yo foot is ridickulusss..."

  2. LOL. A clue eh? Um...I generally ignore all possible clues because I'd rather opt for the side of "it's friendly, not flirty!" and then I can't be wrong or have to deal with a whole new awkwardness. :) And no, prob won't drive me nuts for quite text away.

    p.s. About boys being raised as pussies, I think it's a vicious cycle. Women raise men ingrained with the feminist mindset that girls are strong and can/should do anything males can do (especially since we as women love to be in control and can make life miserable if we aren't...such control freaks). But in the process they squash or don't even recognize natural tendencies of gender roles, or relational differences that are supposed to translate into what we now call a product of bygone eras: "the gentleman." THEN we hear that no men are to be found and bewail the fact that guys rarely possess valor and rugged strength/confidence even though they were never given permission to develop those. And why were they raised that way in the first place? Cause the father was not raised that way either.

    A small soapbox of mine...finis.

  3. I could definitely agree with Elly. If boys are never taught what it means to treat a lady right, then it will be much harder for them to develop that skill on their own. Honestly, if that sort of thing isn't present within the first minute, then NOOOOOOOOOO way, hasta la vista, manbaby.

  4. Thank God I don't work at Payless anymore; I got hit on by kids 20 or younger, or white trash over 35 (so not my desired age bracket). But I literally laughed out loud when I read that comment. Okay, I'm still laughing. :)

    Man, the men not being men thing is something I've been pondering for a while. I figured I'd probably end up ranting about that another day. Isn't that one of the things we covered last year via email?
    I feel that part of it may also come from women who, in the hippie days especially, started raising their sons to be the way they wished their husbands had been. More sensitive and caring, among other things. The problem with that is this: Many women do want a sensitive and caring man. HOWEVER, we do not want a man that is more sensitive than we are, that is useless in an emergency situation, and that cannot provide for us. Men in the old days had to be strong providers and men now are weak in comparison. This change in the lines separating our societal gender roles is something really difficult to someone like me, who expects those older standards to still hold.
    Another contributing factor to the gender-bending could be the amount of boys nowadays who grow up without a father figure. Just a thought.

    I used to let that crap slide because I didn't want to be alone. But now I just can't deal with it at all. You're right, Flicker (I think that's what I'm going to call you ;) ), hasta la vista, manbaby.

  5. I'm really annoyed right now. I posted a long and extremely witty reply. It is not here and I do believe the internet has failed me. Also, I think Elly is utterly incorrect.

  6. I'm sorry. :( Sometimes, for reasons we cannot explain, the internet is a giant asshole.

    How do you disagree? Just curious...

  7. I'm curious too! Get your long and witty reply up and running, tech-master Dash. And yes, I made blatant generalizations in my post, especially about the father thing...but exaggeration doesn't completely take away from the point I was making. Please, disagree away.