Saturday, May 26, 2012

Just Thinking

You know what's really stupid?

When your ex's "new" girlfriend is so threatened by you that she stalks your online 'social life'.  Then bitches about the things that she sees to your ex so much that he calls you and asks you to hide everything you can.  Because her obsession and irritation (over nothing) is pissing him off.

You'd think that her commenting on my blog and 'accidentally' "friend requesting" me would make me want to lock everything up just so she couldn't bother me.  But I don't really care.  I don't feel threatened by her.  

If I was I would try to look at her shit the way she does mine.  I would hack into his Facebook and change things to piss her off.  Or I would privatize everything I have online.  

But I just don't care.  

It's too bad, really.  

She has to live in the knowledge that she loves him and wants to be with him while he will always be in love with me.  She has to live with the fact that, no matter how hard she tries, she will never live up to me in his eyes.  In all reality, she will just never live up to me.  

Maybe they deserve each other.  Both (mentally) children who feed of each other's hatred and anger.  It's just sad that, despite that fact, their relationship will never have half the passion ours did because he will never be capable of caring about anyone else the way he cared about me.  And still cares about me.

And the harder she tries to keep him away from me, the less it will work.


In other news, I got mostly A's this semester.  I worked pretty hard for them.  School is out for summer.  I am going back to Redding soon.  Then, assuming I can get the money to do so, I'm going to Alaska for two weeks in July for my summer program.  I'm really excited, even though planes make me nervous.  I'm also almost done reading It, which I had to take a three-month hiatus from in order to focus on school.  Then I have ten or so more books to read this summer, as well as a couple jobs to do and probably another to acquire.  

For now, I'm just focusing on decompression, reading, cleaning, and the currently amazing Central California weather.

You know, if the breeze didn't smell like bovine feces.

2 comments:

  1. A very similar reason is exactly why I decided to go underground online. I miss my blog, but the risk of ending up stalked is just too stressful for me.

    Congrats on your As! You really did nearly kill yourself for them, so damn straight you deserve them.

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  2. I'm not afraid of her; she's just annoying. But that risk in general is why I use nicknames for all my friends. The people close to me will be able to figure out who I'm talking about, but most people won't. I'm also intentionally a little vague on my location.

    Thank you! I did work pretty freaking hard for them. I almost peed when I found out I got an A in Vocal Pedagogy. That class was really difficult and time-consuming. I jumped up and down in a circle in my kitchen for a while. :)

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