Sometimes I genuinely fear that neither of us will ever be able to have a relationship with someone else without cheating on that person with each other.
I hate cheating. And I'm afraid of him and of the idea of being with him. As I should be, judging by our past together. But neither of us has dated someone else since we met without cheating on that person. With each other.
It's not that we want to cheat. Neither of us condones it in any way. It's as if we just can't stay away from each other.
It's not fair that I should finally should start to feel as if I'm really healing and he choose that moment in time to contact me.
It's not fair that he should tell me he misses me. That he's thinking of leaving his girlfriend. That he still loves me.
It's not fair that I will always love him.
And it's not fair that a few words in a message from him cause me to relapse this much.
Why is it that love either makes you feel completely wonderful or completely defective?