Thursday, February 16, 2012

Allergic to Oxygen.

This will be my first spring in California's Central Valley. 

Here is a list of things I've noticed the Central Valley has a lot of:

-Parks.  Like, serious parks.  Everywhere.  I think Redding had four parks.  Now there's a park down the street from me.  In either direction.  And down the street from that park is another park.  Then my university.  Then another couple of parks.  And after those parks?  Corn.

-Tomatoes.  I spent the whole month of September dodging tomatoes on the freeway.  You'd think by now they would have invented some kind of net or something to keep those acidic bastards in the trucks.  But, no.  Good thing they don't eat the paint off cars or anything.  Except...  Wait...  Shit.

-Cows.  Oh.  My.  God.  There are cows everywhere.  It smells like there are cows everywhere.  Sometimes I wonder if the sidewalk ends in a giant cow patty.  In fact, I am thankful every time there is a breeze because it's practically the only time I don't have to deal with the scent of fecal material wafting through the cracks in the window seals in my house.  The only time it doesn't smell like heifer asshole is when it smells like rancid...

-Garlic.  Some days it smells like marinara sauce.  But then the cow butt smell comes back.

-Trees.  Surprisingly.  Because they put them in the parks and at the schools, for one.  But also because this is primarily where almonds are grown.  Fun fact about almonds.  When they are harvested in the fall the trees are just shaken until the almonds fall out.  Secondary fun fact.  All fall my windshield was yellow. 

As a result of the trees now in bloom (thank you false spring; Mother Nature, you are a spiteful bitch), I am now in the throes of probably the worst allergies I've ever had in my life.  I'm allergic to a lot, as far as molds and pollens and things go.  But I think I'd mostly adjusted to the allergens Redding had to offer. 

The trees currently blooming on campus are so beautiful.  On the other hand, yesterday my face was all but swollen.  My eyes were pink and itchy and actually swollen.  My throat has been sore on and off for over a week.  And post-nasal drip is making me crazy. 

I may never be able to wear my contacts again.  And that's unfortunate because I really like wearing those awesome red Ray-Bans I have. 

Here's hoping I find a magical allergy pill to help me through this.  I'm tired of rubbing my eyes and I want to be able to wear make-up again at some point. 

Less than two years till I can move.  Yay!


  1. Nasal allergy spray + zyrtec + benadryl as needed is the only way I survive Chico spring.

    I know the exact smell you're talking about. I kind of like it. I have always wanted to live in Petaluma, lol.

    1. Yeah, I definitely have to get some more allergy pills. I am almost out. And I can only take Benadryl at night because it makes me groggy. My medication tolerance is pretty strange lately.

      I love the smell of the country and I enjoy most smells associated with agriculture. I've cleaned up after horses, dogs, cats, various water fowl, people... I've only ever lived with men. I've had animals get skunked right in front of my house. I have had bad reactions to Taco Bell and I have been Dutch ovened too many times to count. But I have never smelled anything like this in my life. There are mornings when I leave for school and I have to steel myself in order to not gag before I make it to class. I really, really hope this isn't the same small lol. This smell is like tons of rotten old cow shit was boiled, then baked, then covered in more cow shit. :/