Monday, September 26, 2011

I Was Thinking...

I thought I was just having a hard time dealing with losing you for good.

I thought I cried myself to sleep because you weren't here to comfort me.

I thought I didn't know how to cope with change without you.

I thought I could never feel like myself again without you.

I thought you were the voice in my head that told me everything I did right and wrong.

But then I realized.

It wasn't you I needed at all. It was him.




He never let me down like you did. He never broke my heart like you did. He loves me without condition and he would follow me to the ends of the earth. He is the only worthwhile thing you ever gave me.

Oh, and by the way, no, I don't want you to manipulate me into taking your dishes by saying you'll throw them away otherwise just so you can see me. If you wanted to see me you should have nutted up and said so. So that I could tell you to your face that you have always treated me like shit and the lies you fed me to keep me with you will never again be enough to make me want to live through the abuse you manage to disguise as love.

And after I tell her what I'm sure you haven't, I'm sure she won't feel much different than me.

I'm so glad to have my baby back.


  1. Wait, so he contacted you? And you're going to tell his girlfriend things?

    I feel wrapped up in a soap opera. Keep it coming, lol.

  2. Yes, he did. It really seemed like he was trying to manipulate me into taking his old dishes that match mine so that he could see me and/or wedge himself back in my mind at a time when I was finally starting to really be happy. I don't think he realizes just how much he blew it with me. As for his girlfriend, there are thinly I really feel I should tell her. Things I wish someone had told me. Things that he doesn't want her to know.

  3. Aw, your baby kitty looks so much like my baby kitty!! They're both big, super fluffy, and orange. Although, yours has been through a lot more than mine. Mine is just spoiled. :P

  4. Mine has been through everything I have. And I'm super thankful to have had him. I don't know if I would have made it without him.