Today, one of my best friends in the world is coming to see me.
I am beyond excited.
As in, TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS YELLING ALL THE TIME excitement. (You really shouldn't leave the caps lock on unless you're going to be yelling. It's rude and hurts my ears. Figuratively.)
We (by “we” I really mean “I”) are going to make chocolate pudding shots. If you’re good little boys and girls I might share the experience. Or the recipe I use. Which is fabulous. Last time I just split the batch in two instead of making shots and put a layer of vanilla pudding in a fancy cup with a bunch of chocolate pudding and Cool Whip. Then watched Whitney Cummings and cackled like a little witch on Halloween.
I should put sprinkles on top this time.
By the way, I’m drinking my first Coke in, like, two months. You should be afraid of what I might say from here on out.
So, fun fact. I’m completely hooked on The L Word right now. I love the relationships and the way the women interact, whether they are friends or something else. There’s an episode in season 4 in which Shane (who is my [and, like, every other woman who watches the show] favorite character) models a pair of Hugo Boss tightie whities. I fell in love with the song that was playing during the scene, which was this.
Thank God for Shazam. I even use it in movie theaters.
So, I’ve been listening to Peaches for two days. And I am in love. Despite the fact that she totally stole my porn star name.
You have to listen to some of her music.
She has the dirtiest, crudest, most awesome lyrics in all the land. She’s like AC/DC. But with less veiled innuendo and more songs about MMF threesomes.
AND you can dance to it.
In the immortal word of Charlie Sheen, “Winning.”
Lastly, my dear dudes and dudettes, I will be changing mah herr on Monday.
The spelling “herr” doesn’t really work that well for me there, I think. It’s German and pretty much sounds like “hair”. But I was trying to sound all Nelly. I failed. Maybe.
Back to topic. My dad decided that he would pay for me to highlight my hair because he likes it better more blonde than it really is. My roots have grown to be longer than half of my entire hair length. Just the bottom is really blonde now. My natural color is between dirty blonde and light brown. Apparently this is just too dark for him. I’m thinking of doing a body wave, too. Since my very straight hair is having an asshole phase and being inconsistent.
And now, Peaches has some pudding to make.
Yup. It's kinda ruined. Now it just makes me want a silver lightning bolt on my face.