For some reason I expected that going back to school full time would be a less sedentary lifestyle than working full time.
Somehow, that does not seem to be the case.
Toward the end of last semester I was drinking quite a bit (for me) because I had a very difficult time dealing with all the stresses of my personal, work, and scholastic life. Nights I felt like I was drowning I would drink an entire bottle of Barefoot Muscato Spumante (one of the tastiest sparkling wines I've ever had) by myself. Out of the bottle. I mean, when you now you're going to drink the whole thing anway, fuck glasses.
Glasses are for fancy people with luxuries like self-esteem and moderation.
Apparently somewhere between the bottles of wine and beer (beer especially during the 'end-of-the-semester' parties) and my Burger King comfort food stress diet, I gained weight.
And my semester has been hectic enough that I haven't had as much time to go to the gym as I would like. At least not in the convenient hours between 9 AM and 10 PM.
I'm trying to be conscious of not overeating or eating really shitty comfort foods and not drinking a lot. I've been doing pretty well. The upside is that I am no longer gaining weight. The downside is that loss is coming very slowly.
I just want to fit into my jeans from two years ago. I'm hoping if I'm able to get caught up on some schoolwork over spring break I'll have enough time to hit the gym with some kind of frequency for the rest of the semester. And if I work hard enough over the summer maybe I'll be comfortable with myself again by fall.
I miss my jeans.
Also, I just realized that I haven't been in an actual relationship with someone for almost two years. That's pretty much an eternity for me. Not that I should have been with someone in any way, shape, or form. It just makes me wonder... Am I so much of a bitch or a dude that guys have no interest in me? Or am I even more oblivious than I previously thought?
Oh! And I recently discovered that the last guy I dated just got married. To the girl he started seeing two weeks after we broke up. So... That's awkward. For me. I'm sure he's happy and I'm glad for that. I mean, I definitely would not have wanted to marry him. He was a great guy. But I couldn't handle how different we were and his constant need to be every little thing I could have desired. I need more of a challenge out of my relationships than that.
I need real people.
More than that. I need the jeans I was wearing then to fit my ass.