I still am not positive why I was feeling the way I was when I wrote that last blog. I think I just won't be satisfied until I'm done being a music major and done with school, period. Also, I felt like I'd barely seen Yoshi since before I went home for Christmas break.
Things have been a little better.
One of my very dear friends gave her junior recital almost two weeks ago and Yoshi and I had a long talk about how we need to spend more quality time together. That night/early the next morning one of my roommates came down with the stomach flu. The other roommate came down with it the following afternoon.
That night, while I was standing in my backyard crying, I decided to go stay at a friend's. Yoshi packed me a bag while I told him what to put in it from the car and we went over at about midnight. My friend, Canada, got sick around 3:30 that morning and I followed six hours later.
At that point I was afraid to leave her house. Since we made pretty compatible sick buddies (both pretty germophobic and fastidious), it worked out in a way.
Yoshi got sick the next day, so we ended up spending three nights on her couch before finally coming home. When we finally did come home, we were all a little sad. I miss that time with her.
It's hard to forge a bond stronger than that virus. It was one of the worst things ever. Now the three of us have a bond that cannot be broken. While having the flu was pretty much the worst thing ever, I have to say that it strengthened a good friendship and really made an impact for the better on my relationship. Also, spending Valentine's day watching Kill Bill with those two was pretty much the best thing.
Saturday Yoshi and I journeyed to Santa Cruz to see Oose perform burlesque for the first time. This also afforded me the opportunity to meet the guy she's been seeing and introduce Yoshi to her family, an important milestone. The last person I was dating that I took to meet them was Sterling and, to put it simply, it didn't go well. Oose's mom took me aside before we left and told me that I looked terribly unhappy and that Sterling wasn't good for me. That trip was so epically bad that I was nervous on the way over this time.
I had no reason to be.
Yoshi is comfortable with pretty much everyone. He talked with her dad about painting, chilled with her brother talking about marine bio shit, and couldn't leave their dog alone. Every time her mom saw him she would remark at how cute he was. She told me she was glad to see me so happy.
I almost didn't realize how happy I was. Then she pointed it out and I remembered so many details of that trip with Sterling that I don't like to think about. I'm lucky. Lucky I got out. Lucky I finally said goodbye. Lucky I had the courage (and the support from Oose) to help me open my heart up to the man of my dreams.
I've realized that no matter how much I think talking to him won't help, it will fix everything. He would do anything for me. But he won't let me go. And he won't hurt me. He is my puzzle piece.
I was happy to see Oose with someone who makes her laugh the way Yoshi does me. I really hope they are able to work out their kinks and just be happy with each other. I want to see her finally be happy with someone. She deserves it. We both do.
Also, I caught a cold over the weekend. So I've basically just been sick for two weeks. Sigh. Hopefully it improves soon.