Thursday, April 4, 2013

Mulligans.

When I started this blog I wanted to tell funny stories from my life and have a place where I was allowed to be blatant and crass without consequence.  Well, minimal consequence.  Basically, I wanted a creative outlet and somewhere that I could write how I wanted and be entertaining without people criticizing me for grossly oversharing or turning everything into a double entendre.

Somehow this has instead turned into a place where I vent out all of my feelings, good or bad.  It's turned into where I word vomit everything about my relationships.  That's fine, I guess, because I need that outlet.  But that's not really what I wanted.  I don't feel entertaining anymore.

I don't like that feeling.

Complaining about school, fine.  Family, fine.  Roommates, fine.  I just don't want my love life to be the main focus of this blog anymore.  Let's face it, this isn't Bunny's Barrage of Lovey-Dovey Bullshit Blog About How Much She Loves Her Boyfriend.  This is supposed to be a blog about how I'm a terrible person and kind of a dick.

But, alas, I know I can't write about him because I spend at least half of my life with him now.  So, in the spirit of new beginnings, how about sort of a compromise.

I stop being so fucking boring.  But I don't stop mentioning Yoshi.  Because we're hilarious.  And you should know that.

For instance:


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Ever since we had this conversation, I can't think about men's locker rooms without picturing awkward dude-on-dude massages and naked homoerotic towel whippings.

The funny thing is that when I he sent me these messages I laughed for minute before I realized that "Duck-Duck-Dick" can't be a song.  There is no song to "Duck-Duck-Goose".  So, what's that about?  Is it a game?  Did they make up a song?  If there is a song, can I hear it?  Why am I taking a joke situation this far?
Maybe if I ask him about it he'll make up a song for me.

...I must ask.

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